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Monday, September 20th, 2004
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8:46 pm - thank you
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i would like to start off this entry by saying thank you, thank you so much for the prayer this past week. so i'm back, after just over a week, i'm here, and alive. i haven't been having a very good time the past couple of weeks, i dont mean to be dramatic, but i guess i'm just pretty sad and negative. i have church on tuesday nights, they asked me to be a small group leader, i dont really feel worthy but if that's what God wants me to do then that is what i'm going to do. my goodness, this life thing is hard, oh well, this is not my home.
current mood: down
current music: dieradiodie- backslash you're dead
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(26 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 11th, 2004
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11:07 pm
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something bad happened tonight :/ i can't really say what it was, but yeah, i'm not going to be on livejournal this week. this week could be a very deciding factor for the rest of my life. i want ya'll to know this so you dont think i'm flaking out and ignoring your entries. i'm gonna need lots of prayer this week, i'll see everyone on sunday.
current mood:  depressed
current music: drew tretick- shindler's list
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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10:48 am
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i have my senior picture in about an hour. i just got ready. i dont know what i'm going to do today. 2-fifteen was supposed to practice, but practice was wrecked by me cause i have to be at stupid bohs. if daniel is free today, then i'll hang out with him. he's probably got soccer or something rather though so there's this guy eric who's really good at metal (on the guitar), he's been trying to get together with me lately but i've been so busy. i guess i'll call him if daniel is busy and go let out some fraustration by screaming.
current mood: sad
current music: zao- in times gone past
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, September 10th, 2004
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10:28 pm
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i've had a bad day. my surprise went bad...like usual. other stuff too, but it's unnecessary to post it on the internet for the whole world to say. i guess i'm just having a rough time right now. my heart is having problems forgetting hurtful things that are said, the way they are said, and who says them. i'm actually being pretty selfish, Jesus has forgiven me all of the times i've turned my back on Him and i can't even forgive someone for offending me or hurting my feelings, that's sad. that is about where i am right now...sad.
current mood: sad
current music: relient k- mood rings
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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5:32 pm
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i'm home for a little, i have to get ready and then go out to my aunt's for dinner. i'm going to try and put on a mask for my grandma's birthday a real big :)
my hand hurts :o
current mood: really sad
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(comment on this)
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12:38 pm
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oh yeah, i got asked to play bass and scream for among kindled ashes for some show in hollywood, its just gonna be a temporary thing though (like i'm filling in till they get a permanent guy). its not for sure yet, but the singer and guitarist came up to me at school today. it sounds fun.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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12:37 pm - Does sex make you feel loved?
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i'm going to show up at el dorado, hopefully outside of ana's class if i can find it! and surprise her. thanks to the help of kelly and alexis, i should be able to find her. wanna hear something gross...if not then dont read this. i came home from school and the garage door was locked, this is the first time the garage door has ever been locked on me. so, i got the spare key from the place we hide it and unlocked it. only to come into my living room with some girls panties (the kind of panties that you wouldn't want to see a granny in), some clothes, and bra on the floor. i know that my brother must have locked the door, so i yelled up to his room and said i was home. this all occured about 25 minutes ago, well, he just came downstairs in his underwear and grabbed all her stuff. then they both came down fully clothed, and left.
*EW*
so yeah, i'm pretty excited to go to el dorado. i'm going to go eat first cause i'm hungry. bye.
current mood:  excited
current music: zao- the last song from zion
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 9th, 2004
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8:12 pm
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i got back from the ontario airport thinking i was going to see ana, but i didn't get to, due to it being a school night. so i was sad and spending money always makes me feel better. i went to my atm and got out money for a couple cd's. i went to tower with the intensions of buying sinai beach and zao, but they lied when i called them and it turned out that they didn't have sinai beach. so i got "the funeral of God" by zao and i like it a lot. they've improved a lot from past cds. my mom neglected to inform me that we have a family party tomorrow for my grandma's birthday and now i dont get to go to my picnic with ana, this whirled me into a deep depression...for a few minutes. then i realized that i can see ana right after school cause it's friday and she can come to the family party, maybe. i'm going to go call my beautiful grandmother and tell her happy birthday. i hope ya'll have a good night and that your day goes by fast tomorrow at school!
current mood:  okay
current music: zao- the last song from zion
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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3:07 pm
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i just recieved a phone call from the most beautiful person in the world. tonight, i'm going to drive my mom to the ontario airport so she can surprise my dad when he comes home from his business trip. i'm just dropping her off, and then i'm going to drive home alone. i think i'm going to go buy zao's new cd before we leave and then that'll be cool cause i'll be able to listen to it the whole way home. i'm so happy that tomorrow is friday, not because school is done and i get the weekend, but because i get to see my ana. i'm gonna go now, got homework to finish before 4.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
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12:39 pm
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school is going fairly well so far, i dont have friends by me in any classes so i'm not having problems focusing. i have 2 hard classes that seem to have a lot of homework, ap stats and literature. my literature teacher must be one of the most unique people i've ever met, he is a great person and teacher. we have an in-class essay on monday, that is going to suck but i will do my best. i went to church last night, we learned about jonah and the fish. i have church and praise band tonight, i'm very excited to play. last night my mom asked me on a date, so we're going to my favorite resturant when she gets home from her chiropracters apointment. i've never been asked on a date untill a few nights ago, when the only girl i would ever want to ask me on a date did. two dates in one week, and from the two most important women in my life, what a lucky guy. so yeah, the plan is that me and ana are going to go on a picnic on friday, i'm looking forward to that, especially since we dont get to see each other all week. i hardly ever see daniel now that i get out 4th and he gets out 6th, that sux, but he is trying to drop 5th and then maybe me and him could come to my house or go out everyday and eat together, who knows. i've decided that i'm only going to listen to christian bands from now on. if you think about it thats really not that big of a sacrifice because most of the hardcore bands i listen to are christian anyway. i dont think it's wrong to listen to secular bands, i just think that it would be easier for me personally to keep clean thoughts in my head if i only listen to christian bands. i will be deleting a lot of music tonight from my computer :/ hard to say goodbye, haha, j/k, its just music. this has been a long and probably pointless entry, oh well. God bless.
current mood: loved/loving/in-love
current music: winter solstice- The Hampton Roads 4th Annual Parade of...
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
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1:18 pm
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today was an ok day at school, it went pretty fast. i saw desiree for like 5 minutes and got to say hi. i got home around 12:15 and had my lunch prepared by the famous ana. then ana called me from the payphone at school, and i went to call her back on the number that showed up on caller id only to find out the number is out of service, i dont know why. luckily, our good friend melissa let ana borrow some money and she got to call me again. i have some homework to do and later tonight i've got church. i should be getting a call around 3 sometime...i can't wait :)
current music: daphne loves derby- the end of everything i loved
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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1:57 am
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i had a very good day today, i kind of did a lot too. had fun hanging out with some new people today, thank you alexis for having me over, that was fun. oh yeah and i want to say that alexis' mom is really nice, she is a very caring woman and has been nothing but kind to me since i met her. i'm hoping i can get some good dirt on ana when she was a youngin but i'm still working on that. later, me and ana went to don jose with aaron and sahar, that was a lot of fun. just wondering...who's girlfriend made them a lunch for school tomorrow??!!?! mine did! i have a very good girlfriend. i also have a very good lunch ready for tomorrow. thank you sweety.
i can't sleep :/
current mood: content
current music: the early november- sunday drive
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, September 6th, 2004
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1:07 pm
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today is a new day, a day the Lord has made. i am going to live today and glorify God through my actions. i'm going to alexis' house with ana and then maybe dinner later. eh, i have to walk, i know walking isn't that bad but i am just kind of lazy today. i just did about 2 hours of homework, and i'm still not done, i have a spanish project due wednesday and i suck at spanish. maybe someone could help me? please? yeah, you know who you are. ok, bye.
current mood: optimistic
current music: the fish
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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3:02 am
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weeeeeeeeeee! wow, its really late. i think i'll look back on tonight a few months from now and think "that was necessary".
current mood: sad
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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1:24 am
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i'd like to say thanks to all the people who replied to my last entry (or maybe it was a couple ago), that was cool, because i really wasn't feeling loved but then a bunch of people replied. it was ridiculous to even think that nobody loves me, heh, my biggest problem is that i dont really love/respect myself or my body. well yeah, i really didn't think the night could get worse, but it did. how it did, is not improtant, but it did. now i'll go waste away in my room, alone.
oh yeah, i dont think there is such thing as a stupid question.
current mood: miserable
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, September 5th, 2004
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10:03 pm
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i have the best, most loving sister in the world. i'm going to go watch a movie at her and her husband's apartment, i'm sure i'll update later though cause sleep is not going to come. bye.
current mood: worthless
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(comment on this)
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8:34 pm
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today has been a bad day. so now i'm here, alone for a long time since i probably wont sleep tonight.
i'm scared that i'm going to do something really stupid tonight, but i dont care, nobody else does.
current mood: horrible
current music: 50 first dates
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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12:43 pm
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i think i'm going to:
dye my hair today
get cat litter and crickets with my mom
go to taco bell
and thats about all thats on the agenda right now.
current mood: disappointed
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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12:28 am
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crap! crap! crap! i'm sitting here wasting away the night waiting for ana to call me, then getting sad thinking that she had decided not to call me. and guess what? i checked my phone and i had like 6 freakin missed calls! i put my phone on silent cause me and ana were playing bowling and the music annoys me, and i forgot to turn it off. darn. well i guess i should try and sleep, i've got church early. goodnight.
current mood: disappointed
current music: the silence of the night
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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5:09 pm - Why do i seem worth it to you?
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Ana always makes me feel so special. i'm about to leave for saddleback, my mom made me a breakfast/lunch/dinner just now and it was really good, breakfast and hashbrowns. how nice of her. and i'm off, bye.
current mood: okay
current music: The Bled- Porcelain Hearts and Hammers for Teeth
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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